The Big J getting ready to take M and B to dance! He is so busy with football right now we hardly see him around here. You would think he is getting a paycheck HAHA! He is having a great season (making the paper) and getting some good reviews. I am happy for him, but can't wait until basketball season!!
Little J and B- who did not want her picture taken! On her way to dance! She has gotten so funny! I mean her little personality WAY takes over her little self! 3rd grade has been a great year for her, and she has the most positive teacher- which makes it all the more fun!
M going to dance! She is a busy kid this year- dance 4 nights a week and every other weekend! She is working so hard, and you can tell when you see her dance! I am so proud of her.Homeschooling is going well- I actually like it, and so does M which is the most important. She has a great group of virtual teachers, and Derek is really liking being able to help her out. They have even had some "working" dinners after dance on Wednesdays and some conference calls during the day! I can't say enough about how great her teachers are! I may try to become "virtual" myself :-)
We are finally seeing some cool weather (NOT)! But a girl can dream. Today at recess the sun was actually behind the clouds and a cool breeze was blowing- not to cool, but a breeze in the 80's I will take! It is supposed to rain all weekend, so maybe some cool weather will come in for a few days behind the rain. It has just been so HOT this year!
It feels like sometimes we have been in a waiting game for 15 months- and then at times, it doesn't seem that long. However, whenever we have to "for real deal with it" it seems so overwhelming and unfair. And yet, this week I came across this bible verse "Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him." Romans 12:2
And I think- I have been given so much, and yet there are two things that I still want more than ever, and at times, it seems to consume me, to almost completely overwhelm me- I don't even know how to explain it anymore, except to say that when I allow myself to think about it, it makes me so very sad, and then angry. And then I think- all that I have been given seems to fade away in that moment, and yet what has been given to me is the very thing that gets me up everyday. And yet, I am so overjoyed by the children I do have- I feel guilty for wanting more, and yet, I feel so sad for the two we don't have. Not that I don't think God isn't taking care of them, but that they deserve a chance to have a family. And I just keep praying- Matthew 17:20 Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.
I don't feel that I am lacking in faith, - but I do think I am lacking patience in this situation. When Derek and I talk about it, it just seems that Jackson and his siblings have been given the shaft- opportunities have been taken from them, that our State says they have the right to have. And so we continue to wait, and hope for reunification for them- but the waiting is truly the hardest part.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous . Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
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